Blaine the Blah

So bloggers, we're going to take a break from the Chloe and Devon Show to flashback to the guy who was occupying Chloe's attention before Devon came on the scene: Blaine. Yes, Blaine. And no, this is not some ridiculous 80's movie. I've actually known Blaine since junior high (yes, junior high) but we were never in the same social circles. He was part of the jock/cheerleader/preppy crowd and I.....well, let's just say that I was a work in progress. lol.

Now, I know you're just dying to know what Blaine looks like and if you just cool your jets, I will tell you right now. He is an inch or two taller than me with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes that remind me of the ocean. Plus he's got the muscular build from doing football in high school but some of his muscle is turning to chubbiness since he doesn't play sports anymore. And he still gels his hair like he did when we were in high school (personally I prefer it when he leaves it natural). And he is slightly tan (but it's not natural).

Physically, he sounds like a catch but let's go beyond skin deep. He is twenty-five and he still lives with his parents. He didn't go to college and he does not have a vehicle at the moment. As for career, he recently made the switch from the lawnscaping business to the food industry. He was working for a guy who owned his own business where they would build fences and fix yards and things like that. The problem with this job....he only got paid when they completed a job (and jobs didn't flow in on a regular basis). Now he buses tables at one of the local mexican restaurants back home.

Doesn't exactly sound like the perfect catch, does he? Plus he has a tendency to wear those affliction shirts with the sparkles on it. (you know, the kind that looks like your baby sister took a bedazzler to it) And that nice tan I told you about? Yeah, he maintains it by going to the tanning bed every day. every. day. (Can we say Jersey Shore wannabe?)

So what exactly is this boy appeal? Well, I've never really had great self-confidence (shocking, I know). And the past few years, I've seriously doubted my sex appeal to the opposite sex.....now I doubt my dating appeal because guys want to sleep with me but not date me ( I think part of this has to do with my virgin status). And this is where "Blaine the Blah" comes in.....

Two years ago, Blaine sent me a facebook request and I accepted since I actually knew the guy. Then five minutes later I get a text from him(don't freak....my friends on facebook can see my cell number). Then we texted for 3 months before I finally caved and went over to his house to hookup. (Now remember....Chloe's Definition of Hooking Up: everything but actual sex.) And this was how Chloe and Blaine started their weird-ass hook-up buddy relationship (or as Dane Cook says, relationsh*t).

Blaine was the first guy since my freshman year in college to show me any form of attention and make me actually feel attractive. And that is also why I put up with all of his ridiculous bullsh*t everytime we hooked up. And let me just say that out of all the times we've messed around, he left a good impression only twice. Mostly, Blaine is all about the quickie; he calls you over to sneak in after dark and you get straight down to business (which means you spend like maybe two minutes  making out and the rest of the time giving him a bj), and as soon as he has his happy moment, he pops out of bed; gives a lame excuse about how he has to get to bed; and kicks your tush out the door before you can say good night. Sounds amazing, right? lol

But there were these two times I swear, Ryan Gosling must have came and inhabited his body for a couple of hours because he was amazing. Like push-you-against-the-door-have-his-way-with-you instensity that was exactly what I wanted. That was the best. But then, he never came back. So, eventually I got aggravated and said bye-bye to Blaine the Blah. Problem is that Blaine is very stubborn and doesn't believe that our little arrangement is over. Even after I told him how I met someone else who is waaaaaay better than him in EVERY way (Devon!), he still texts me about wanting to come see him.

Now I do realize that I live in Houston while he lives in New Orleans but I do visit my family fairly often, especially since my lovely sister Sammie is livin' it up in the Quarter! (God, I miss her!) So whenever I go to NOLA, I tend to meet up Blaine for a welcome home quickie....lol. Which brings me to some news I will dish about later, bloggers. Ciao Bella.